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Erica Charlesworth

Stop Saying Thank You to Your Kids!

6/4/2013

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I've been trying not to say thank you to my kids.

 It's a habit though. It's hard to break and more and more all it gets me is a cold stare.

So now I'm doing this instead: 

"Child, you are _____________"   (fill in the blank).

(Ideas:  sitting in your car seat ready to be buckled in, putting the dishes in the dishwasher, staying quiet while your sister has a fit, smiling at me even though I know you are bored standing on this line, tying your shoes, jumping on the trampoline, eating your dinner, doing your homework, watching TV, stretching, doing a handstand, not making any sounds that annoy people.)

(I say that line with little variation in my tone, however with great presence to the subject.)

Then I say:

"What does this say about you?"

or

"What does this say about what you are capable of?"

or

"What does this say about you as human being?"

Very often, I get an actual reply....

"It says I am __________________"  (making a health choice, a good student, caring about my body, athletic......)

I agree with them or sometimes I disagree if that's what's needed to make sure they download what is really cool about what just happend. (No, Sam, your actions told me you ARE A GO-GETTER, AND NOT A LAZY POOP!)

Then sometimes I even get a Thank you!  from them. 

(This has actually happened more than once.)


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    Erica Charlesworth. Writing to soothe that inner voice asking for attention.

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