I've been trying not to say thank you to my kids.
It's a habit though. It's hard to break and more and more all it gets me is a cold stare.
So now I'm doing this instead:
"Child, you are _____________" (fill in the blank).
(Ideas: sitting in your car seat ready to be buckled in, putting the dishes in the dishwasher, staying quiet while your sister has a fit, smiling at me even though I know you are bored standing on this line, tying your shoes, jumping on the trampoline, eating your dinner, doing your homework, watching TV, stretching, doing a handstand, not making any sounds that annoy people.)
(I say that line with little variation in my tone, however with great presence to the subject.)
Then I say:
"What does this say about you?"
or
"What does this say about what you are capable of?"
or
"What does this say about you as human being?"
Very often, I get an actual reply....
"It says I am __________________" (making a health choice, a good student, caring about my body, athletic......)
I agree with them or sometimes I disagree if that's what's needed to make sure they download what is really cool about what just happend. (No, Sam, your actions told me you ARE A GO-GETTER, AND NOT A LAZY POOP!)
Then sometimes I even get a Thank you! from them.
(This has actually happened more than once.)
It's a habit though. It's hard to break and more and more all it gets me is a cold stare.
So now I'm doing this instead:
"Child, you are _____________" (fill in the blank).
(Ideas: sitting in your car seat ready to be buckled in, putting the dishes in the dishwasher, staying quiet while your sister has a fit, smiling at me even though I know you are bored standing on this line, tying your shoes, jumping on the trampoline, eating your dinner, doing your homework, watching TV, stretching, doing a handstand, not making any sounds that annoy people.)
(I say that line with little variation in my tone, however with great presence to the subject.)
Then I say:
"What does this say about you?"
or
"What does this say about what you are capable of?"
or
"What does this say about you as human being?"
Very often, I get an actual reply....
"It says I am __________________" (making a health choice, a good student, caring about my body, athletic......)
I agree with them or sometimes I disagree if that's what's needed to make sure they download what is really cool about what just happend. (No, Sam, your actions told me you ARE A GO-GETTER, AND NOT A LAZY POOP!)
Then sometimes I even get a Thank you! from them.
(This has actually happened more than once.)
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