If I so choose.
Well. I don’t.
It’s not that I don’t feel this stress right now in my gut.
I do. I feel it. But instead of fretting anymore, I take it as my cue to breathe one of those deep refreshing breaths and put a smile on my face because I know it makes me look beautiful even if no one is watching….and exercising my smile muscles probably releases serotonin.
These past two weeks were tough. Mom took a little nose dive. Hospital for pneumonia, increased disorientation. She goes to the bathroom and calls for me “help me, I’m lost.” She now cannot stay alone. This morning I made her a little notebook with all of the names and addresses of her nearest and dearest. We’re going to add labeled photos, important facts, and inspiration quotations. I like doing stuff like that. And thanks to all the focusing I did prior to the hospital stay, I was ready to step up our care plan.
My kids also had the flu; I also had the flu and some bronchitis; and I helped plan an upcoming trip to America for my dear French cousin and his family. Again, I was so grateful for all the focusing I had done because what seemed like a crisis felt like more prepared or something. (One very cool thing? When I called 911 to get her to the hospital, a French paramedic came and spoke to her in French the whole way in.
ABOUT MY SISTER, MY BROTHER, MY KIDS, and MY FELLOW NURTURED HEARTERS:
I’ve learned in these couple past weeks, as I fretted here and there while sick and tending to the sick that NHA is really best done in community. I can’t do life, as this separate human illusion, alone. When I try it’s just so unpleasant.
NHA (I wish I could call it something else non-acronmynal) is like a little divining rod. It points me where I need to go. And the more I tell people I love about it, the more they hold my feet to the fire and make me do it!
My kids routinely tell me to RESET! They tell me when my facial expression are not very nurturing. They tell me when I’m not being clear.
My sister, routinely redirects my thinking, my “here are my problems – do something!” - itis, to insisting that I clarify any muddled thinking. Her enthusiasm (and I don’t think she’s even read a book yet), came from my enthusiasm and she’s soaking it into her own viewpoints and keeping me on track.
My brother wants me to write an NHA children’s book – he’s even got the ideas for it and he hasn’t read a book either – just got a little taste of it from me and now this.
My very close friend, recently went to an NHA training for a week and she showered me with text messages about my Greatness while I was depressed and fearful over my home situation. So much for lollygagging in my misery.
My NHA community – friends who coach me, who email me, who call me, who Facebook with me – WOW! They keep this alive for me when life’s circumstances feel overwhelming. And they do that sometimes – (the circumstances) either because of my frail constitution or because it’s just a crazy %^&( world and for intense feeling types like me OMG, thank god for this alternative that nurtures the best and the strength in me too….keeps me grounded, stable and sitting upright in my chair.
I can’t get away from it even when I feel as though I ain’t doing my share.
This afternoon, in a short while, I get to go speak for an hour to a group of teachers who I owe a great deal too (they educate my son and his friends). This means (not only am I feeling better on the inside and the outside) but that I got to immerse myself in this thinking for several hours and slowly that inner feeling of gratitude and happiness and wealth, yes inner wealth, is bubbling up again and I just can’t hardly wait.
Is the anxiety still there? Yes and so what?! It’s part of my system and if I breath through it, I can morph is to excitement instead. Thank you so much for reading. I love you.