I was in the tiny school kitchen putting away dishes after a fundraiser when she walked in dressed in heels, made up, with jewelry on, carrying one child in a carrier, under her arm a 3-ply board like the kind you see at a science fair, and motioning to her daughter and an older son to move on into the hallway.
“We’re trying to do this nurtured heart thing, so we are late because of him. “ She said stressed and pissed to the office lady who happens to be my neighbor too.
“At least we are here, but we are late, and we better not be late again. I told him so…” The little boy’s head was hanging now.
He was wearing a bright green t-shirt and I could see the word “Science Fair Winner” on it. I cringed internally. How dare she claimed to do the nurtured heart.
She went back out to her car and I went to him and told him that I noticed his green shirt with the words winner on it, and I noticed how all three were standing together so unified, like a tribe, all the while Mom was gone. (i was feeling happy and smug.)
She returned. I told her, “I think you may have a scientist on your hands.” He went bounding out now to his class and she smiled quickly and left with the other two.
I went to my office lady neighbor friend (this is a small town), and whispered. “Geez. I felt so bad for the kid….” And she said “Yeah, I think she missed something in the training.” And we laughed a little nervously together.
And then I did what I tell people not to do. I gossiped. My eyes kind of wide and imploring her to listen to my story, I said: “So last night I was at this NHA event and this teacher I know said she had some parents who were also there but they really didn’t know how to do ‘nurtured heart’…
“Maybe they are trying to make some changes?” I said.
“No, they aren’t doing it!” she insisted and rolled the eyes.
“Well, everyone has to start somewhere, you know?” ….
“No, they really aren’t doing it!” she doubly insisted this time with an in breath.
And so I just had to tell office lady neighbor friend that this teacher just didn’t get it. I had to roll my eyes at the memory of her. And then there I stood a moment, so obviously stuck in my own not having gotten it.
In breath for me.
I had more cups to put away, and a quick errand to run across the hall. I went on my way and saw the mom with the three kids. I stopped her I let her have it.
“Hey, you have three kids huh?”
“Wow, and you have time to get yourself pulled together. Look at you, your hair is even curled, and you have that nice jewelry on” (she’s younger than me, I feel I can pour this on safely). She starts to smile.
“And you had time to make a 3-ply board for the science fair?” Then I shut up.
Then she beamed and said something I didn’t hear cause I was immersed in my own happiness that had I shifted my energy from whanwhanwhan to zippitydodahzippityyay.
I went back to the office and asked my friend if I could do a redo, to which she immediately said “yes of course” and then gave me her undivided attention.
“So I was at this NHA event last night and a teacher came up to me and she was discouraged and I didn’t have the right words to say." In breath. "But next time maybe I wil!.”
My friend beamed at me with her approval, my heart opened. And we back on to our days.