It's not that my son minds doing his homework. He just minds doing it with me. So, last year we all agreed that it was fine that he did "it" at his fathers. He's a late bloomer. So "it" has meant the bare minimum requirements, i.e. 1/5 of his spelling pages per night plus ten minutes reading to self before bed. He's ten. He's been in alternative schools all his life, whose emphasis has been the success of the whole child. I actually think it's working.
This year, we are stepping it up and insisting on ten minutes of multiplication practice a day (something his teacher asked for last year too which just didn't seem feasible if I also wanted to actually get along with him. If you haven’t figured it out so far, I have an issue. God forbid anyone, most of all my children, might consider me unreasonable.
About success. I've gotten clarity (Stand 3: Nurtured Heart Approach = Absolute Clarity) that ten minutes of multiplication practice is not only reasonable but a very very good idea. So when my son balked last week at towing this line, I had to do some NHA research. What exactly would this clarity look like in practice in my particular home?
So I tried this approach: State the request "I need you to..." Energize compliance and reset if necessary.....adding "Your reset starts when you put your __________ down." Followed by absolute no energy to negativity...patience and absolute clarity on our rule.
Here's the picture (some poetic license taken) last night.
Honey, I need you to do your homework now.
No.
(Breathe in)
As soon as you put your IPAD down, you can start your reset.
I ain't resetting. You're a poo. Crusty poop, crusty poop, fat crusty poop that's you.
(Breathe in, turn away, and walk)
Son eventually puts the IPAD down but never gets to homework. .... Father comes to pick up son to spend the night at his house which is par for our course.
It didn't quite work out...Homework still not chosen.....I'm thinking "did that reset work or not?"
Next day:
Mom, Can I do it? "It" now referring to technology.
I like the way you asked me, thanks... No, you can't do '"it" till you get "IT" homework done.
No, I ain't doing it. (He goes outside.)
I breathe....
and then came back and did IT.
This year, we are stepping it up and insisting on ten minutes of multiplication practice a day (something his teacher asked for last year too which just didn't seem feasible if I also wanted to actually get along with him. If you haven’t figured it out so far, I have an issue. God forbid anyone, most of all my children, might consider me unreasonable.
About success. I've gotten clarity (Stand 3: Nurtured Heart Approach = Absolute Clarity) that ten minutes of multiplication practice is not only reasonable but a very very good idea. So when my son balked last week at towing this line, I had to do some NHA research. What exactly would this clarity look like in practice in my particular home?
So I tried this approach: State the request "I need you to..." Energize compliance and reset if necessary.....adding "Your reset starts when you put your __________ down." Followed by absolute no energy to negativity...patience and absolute clarity on our rule.
Here's the picture (some poetic license taken) last night.
Honey, I need you to do your homework now.
No.
(Breathe in)
As soon as you put your IPAD down, you can start your reset.
I ain't resetting. You're a poo. Crusty poop, crusty poop, fat crusty poop that's you.
(Breathe in, turn away, and walk)
Son eventually puts the IPAD down but never gets to homework. .... Father comes to pick up son to spend the night at his house which is par for our course.
It didn't quite work out...Homework still not chosen.....I'm thinking "did that reset work or not?"
Next day:
Mom, Can I do it? "It" now referring to technology.
I like the way you asked me, thanks... No, you can't do '"it" till you get "IT" homework done.
No, I ain't doing it. (He goes outside.)
I breathe....
and then came back and did IT.
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