It was a gorgeous summer day, I was in my back yard talking to a therapist from Houston, choking back some tears. Should I go to this NHA intensive training? Could I afford it? Could I find somebody to take care of my mother? What about the children? Was it responsible to spend that kind of money? What was I doing with my life?
And then it hit me that I had to sign up for this five day training thing for no other reason than to nurture my own heart. I had to do it for me.
When I got there I think I was one of two women and one grandmother who were “just” parents. Most everyone else had a professional connection to this work. It was a transformative week. The fact that I knew this was going to benefit my children and our relationship was at this point merely a plus.
I found NHA about 8 months prior. I had wanted to present a whole different set of parenting techniques to parents at my childrens’ school, a set of techniques that had gotten me out of some deep dark woods (ie, fights, threats, meltdowns, and showdowns) and into a more stable disciplined environment. The only trouble now was that we (my son, my daughter, and I) basically hated each other. So when the principal suggested I listen to some tapes by Howard Glasser based on his book, “Transforming the Difficult Child” I did.
Now, over more than two years, I’ve immersed myself in this work either as a parent or a coach to other parents -- sometimes just fitting it in amidst my responsibilities as a caregiver and a bookkeeper, sometimes devoting hours to it in a volunteer capacity, but always applying it to my life because it is about so much more than transforming a difficult child, although it needs not be anything more than that to be fantastic, and it is. (Believe me, I know from years of experience that nothing can be sweeter than transforming a difficult child if he or she happens to be yours….except taking that transformation and applying it right to your own self. That is equally sweet.)
And then it hit me that I had to sign up for this five day training thing for no other reason than to nurture my own heart. I had to do it for me.
When I got there I think I was one of two women and one grandmother who were “just” parents. Most everyone else had a professional connection to this work. It was a transformative week. The fact that I knew this was going to benefit my children and our relationship was at this point merely a plus.
I found NHA about 8 months prior. I had wanted to present a whole different set of parenting techniques to parents at my childrens’ school, a set of techniques that had gotten me out of some deep dark woods (ie, fights, threats, meltdowns, and showdowns) and into a more stable disciplined environment. The only trouble now was that we (my son, my daughter, and I) basically hated each other. So when the principal suggested I listen to some tapes by Howard Glasser based on his book, “Transforming the Difficult Child” I did.
Now, over more than two years, I’ve immersed myself in this work either as a parent or a coach to other parents -- sometimes just fitting it in amidst my responsibilities as a caregiver and a bookkeeper, sometimes devoting hours to it in a volunteer capacity, but always applying it to my life because it is about so much more than transforming a difficult child, although it needs not be anything more than that to be fantastic, and it is. (Believe me, I know from years of experience that nothing can be sweeter than transforming a difficult child if he or she happens to be yours….except taking that transformation and applying it right to your own self. That is equally sweet.)