People have been asking me (by people I mean my mother), “Why are you changing banks?” I say something like “big banks bad, small banks better.” And she nods. Ah. And we go on, until she asks me again, having forgotten my clear and descriptive answer.
This morning I have a new answer. It’s not my own. It’s a collective answer from my gut, that place within that is connected to everything that came before me and everything that will come after me (theplaceoffoodmeetspoop).
I’m changing banks because: 1) I feel better believing that I could in theory at least meet the owner(s) of a bank versus 2) I feel crappy thinking that there are too many of them to know (shareholders), all of whom have no personal direct responsibilty to me nevermind the slightest interest in actually meeting me.
There are too many people who owning/buying/selling tiny portions of those big banks for me to comprehend. (And as a matter of fact, I'm one of the them who doesn't want to meet me.) It's all too confusing. (See Finance Makeover To Do List: Sell your Wells Fargo Stock)
Have you ever fantasized about winning a million dollars? It’s just at that amount of money that I can imagine “owning” and doing something with it that makes me feel a little (ok a lot) of pleasure. But a billion dollars? I slip off into worry and fear when I consider a billion dollars. What would I do with it, would I be plagued with worry and concern that I wasn’t doing enough good or the wrong good? How many people would try to get some of it from me, how many closets of neatly pressed Gap clothing would I have to clean? A million feels very good. A billion? No so much. I guess that’s just my small imagination.
Here is a paraphrase by Charles Eisenstein, a self-proclaimed ordinary man: ‘Why does it hurt when we hear about the last rainforests being destroyed? When we listen to the news on Syria or Ukraine or ___(fill in the blank)_________. Why does it hurt when we hear that the last blue bellied angel frog died last night on a lonely road in Kansas? WHY? Because WE ARE the last rainforest, the Syrians, the Ukrainians, and the frogs.’
So that’s why I’m changing banks and making over my financial habits. I feel in my gut that the I am is connected to the You are and the WE ARE. And denial hurts.
On my It's-all-connected-finance makeover-to-do-list for this week:
Sell your Wells-Fargo stock.
Take Mom to hospital to have heart shocked with paddles to put her in better heart rhythm.
Change appt time for planting-CA native-plants consultation.
Don’t forget about enjoying the expensive makeup from the rainforest you bought on the mall trip that was recommended by Dr Oz. (Wear it!).
When eating or drinking (including snacking and grazing), sit down and do only that.